What Happens in Online Grief Recovery Classes

It is natural to wonder what you are agreeing to before you reach out to someone about grief. Will it be a group? Will you be put on the spot? Chaplain Barbel Wray leads her Grief Recovery Method® classes one-on-one and online, and here is a plain description of how they work, drawn from how she describes them herself.

The first step is a conversation

It starts with a free, confidential 45 minute consult on Zoom. There is no obligation. You can ask any questions you have about grief and about how the classes work, and Barb can tell you whether she thinks she is a good fit. If she feels she is not the best fit, she will look for other resources for you.

If you decide to go ahead, the next step is to find a weekly time that suits you. You complete a client intake form and you are sent a Zoom link. Her consult times are listed in PST, but she leads classes wherever there is an internet connection.

What you need to have on hand

• A smartphone to join on Zoom.
• A headset with a microphone, so you can hear and be heard clearly.
• The Grief Recovery Handbook, which is the manual for the course.
• A printable homework sheet, or a scribbler to write in by hand.

If your internet drops, there is a backup plan: a phone call within North America, so a lost connection does not end your session.

The weeks, and what they add up to

The program runs for seven to ten weekly sessions, adjusted to your needs. The first two or three weeks are about an hour each. After that the sessions are about two hours. Barb finds that the tools work best when the work is weekly and progressive, with safe support, so the rhythm is steady rather than rushed.

Between sessions you have homework. This is the part Barb is most direct about: the work is for people who want to feel better and are willing to do the hard work to move forward. The tools are specific and action-oriented. They help you look at an unfinished relationship, at what you wish had been different, better or more, and find completion.

Because it is one-on-one, there is no group to perform for and no one else's story to sit through. The hour or two is yours, and it moves at the pace of the work you are doing. Barb adjusts the number of sessions to what you need, which is why the range runs from seven to ten weeks.

The relationship might be with someone who died. It might be a divorce, an estrangement, an abandonment, or a trust that was broken. Barb says the work is for your healing and does not depend on whether the person is still in your life.

By the end, you are expected to have completed the homework on at least three relationships. After that there is a confidential evaluation through The Grief Recovery Institute®, and you receive a Certificate of Achievement. Graduates can also book alumni consults if another loss is coming up.

No one can promise how you will feel at the end, and Barb does not pretend otherwise. What she describes is a set of tools for your life tool belt, which you can use again for later losses, and a practice of being heard by someone safe while you do the work. She also notes that these tools are not taught in the usual places, and she wishes they were. Many people arrive having never been shown what to do with a loss, so it can be a relief simply to be given something concrete.

Cost, and a note about budgets

Barb offers a few ways to pay, including paying in full or monthly plans. Her pricing page lists the details, and she adds a line worth repeating: don't let money stop you. She will work with your budget whenever possible. At least a partial payment is asked for before the first meeting, and 24 hours notice is needed for schedule changes.

The easiest place to begin

You do not have to decide anything today. The free 45 minute consult on Zoom is simply a chance to talk, ask questions and see how it feels. If you have been carrying a loss and wondering whether this is for you, that call is a gentle way to find out.